Massage Monday

I did a very taitai* thing today.

The Big D

Here I am, unemployed once again. About a month ago, I made the tough decision to quit my job – the job that I thought I really wanted, the job that I thought would be bring me purpose and make good sense on my resume, the job that I thought would define me as more than just a trailing spouse. 

You see, that’s what’s been the most difficult. I always thought that I would be the one to get an expat assignment, to be sent abroad, and to make good use of my undergrad degree in French and my master’s in global comms. But instead it was my partner who got the opportunity. I just happened to pick the right guy. 

When I found myself back inside cubicles walls, performing seemingly meaningless tasks day in and day out, I began to question what it was that I was trying to achieve. Maybe I should have thought about this before I accepted the offer, maybe it was all my fault, but I really did think it was going to be the experience I had set out to get. In the end, I felt as if my time was being wasted. And time is precious in general, but especially so when your experience in a foreign country has an expiration date. 

I think my mom said it best when she described this country as the new frontier. Shanghai is full of foreigners following their dream (a dream that often times hadn’t been defined prior to their arrival). From opening up a fixed gear bike shop (Factory Five) to bringing chocolate chip cookies (and its variations) to China (Strictly Cookies), these expats are inspiring. And inspiration is contagious. 

Now I’m not about to set up shop or enter the food and beverage industry any time soon (though anything could happen), but I am choosing to make the best use of my time here. And right now, that means fully committing to learning the language (characters and all) and finding projects that will allow me to exercise my passion. It also means choosing happiness over resume building. Time will tell if I made the right decision, but my gut says I have and I hope he’s right.

We're not just taitais

There were some annoyances last week with the new apartment, which is often the case when you first move in to a place. It was silly stuff like, the toilet seat hadn't been properly installed and the dryer stopped every five minutes for no apparent reason. Yes, these were somewhat insignificant, but try dealing with them in Chinese. I thank my lucky stars every night for Mike (and his ability to speak the language).   

My frustrations were contrasted with a lovely lunch I had with the ladies in my Mandarin course -- Robin, the American who has lived in Ireland most recently; Ayla, the Turkish-born German; Nannapat, the Thai married to a Brit; and Anna, the Russian engaged to a German. One day after class, we took the opportunity to get to know each other a bit better and grab lunch together. We chatted about our families, our homes, our professions; about the difficult decision to move to China; about the sacrifice we (happily) made for our partners. I looked around the table and saw four smart women, ambitious and adventurous, excited and eager to immerse themselves in their new culture. Even though I had just met them, I felt as if I had more in common with them than my fellow countrywomen, many of whom relish their lives here as "taitais" (=wife in Mandarin, but with the negative connotation of a wealthy housewife). By the end of lunch, they had convinced me to join them for an additional month of Mandarin classes. Although the session will end right as I leave to go back home (for our wedding!), I'm looking forward to spending more time with these seemingly fabulous women.