Q. How have you been?
A. (But no one really wants you to delve into how awesome -- or how crappy -- life has been the last few years.)
Q. What have you been up to?
A. "Oh, you know, hanging out."
Q. Where do you live now?
A. Why do you really want to know? Are we going to be friends now? Will you come visit?
Q. What do you do?
A. Perhaps given my current situation, I hate this one -- as if your whole existence is defined by your day job.
Q. And if they're especially nosy -- Single, married, kids? Do you rent or did you buy?
A. Have you walked away yet?
Sorry for being cynical, but I can't help but comment on this redundancy (and the inauthenticity that tends to permeate these chats), which also exists among the expat community, though the questions vary:
Q. Where are you from?
A. First, I respond with, "the U.S." as I don't want to be an obnoxious American and assume that all other world citizens know the fifty states when I don't even know the different provinces of the current country in which I reside. But then, that question is usually followed by...
Q. Where in the U.S.?
A. I usually get great feedback on my response, like: "It's so beautiful there," or, "What a great city!" or, "How did you move here from there?"
Q. How long have you been here?
A. A year and a half.
Q. How long will you stay?
A. Technically, until the end of May 2014, but our contract could get extended.
Q. What are you doing here?
A. Here's the kicker -- 'cause this inevitably leads to questions about my husband's job (which is usually followed by a "Wow!"), and then maybe about how I spend my time (my answer to which is just never cool enough).
Don't get me wrong; I too am curious about my fellow expats and ask the same questions. It's just funny that we end up falling in the same (but different) five-question trap with the same ending -- "We should get together!" And how often does that happen?
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