Chinglish Part V

You knew it was coming...

I don't know about you, but I'm not rushing to eat at either of these establishments:

They're not terribly confident in China:

Because in China, it's not a guarantee:

Sometimes I feel as if they just place one random English word after another:

This isn't Chinglish, but is it China's version of "the boot"?

See also: Chinglish Part I, Part II, Part III and Part IV

Zhoumo kuaile!

I'm going home tomorrow! Here's what mom has for me in the fridge, most of which was bought on request:

• Greek yogurt
• Baby carrots
• Three Twins ice cream
• Baba ganoush and/or hummus
• Cheeses, including (but not limited to) Armenian string and goat

Posts will be intermittent; I'll be too busy breathing in as much fresh ocean air as possible. And so I leave you, for now, with a Chinese Christmas wish:

Chinglish Part IV

Part of what makes Chinglish so fantastic is the series of English words randomly placed one after another to make absolutely no sense.  Here some recent finds...

Seen outside of a men's clothing store at the airport:

"Leaves. Point a cigar stamped on the landing wilted under leaves, nothing more than this to let people comfortable of things." What would Wordsworth think?

In front of a fried chicken shop:

So many gems here: "Each product from our wisdom," "Make good food from materia," but one deserves a
 close-up... 

"Please look forward to chicken major suit the new season four release." Are we buying chicken or DVDs? 

Found in a menu of a Japanese restaurant:

Not so much a series of words, but a series of letters to create "asuparago" -- a new vegetable of the Latin variety?

And perhaps my favorite of the bunch:

"Please do not defecate indiscriminately." I'm not sure I have a comment smart enough for this one.

See also: Chinglish Part I, Part II, Part III

Chinglish Part III (and Zhoumo kuaile!)

I thought it'd be appropriate to follow up our China-versary with the third post in my Chinglish series (Part I, Part II). The collection is growing...  

Paying our mobile phone bill:

"The Service Accepts Area;" accentuated by the random wires hanging from the ceiling.

At a small museum in Shanghai:

"This door impassibility;" "This is not an exit"?

In front of an airport's smoking section:

"Do not litter butts;" it's funny 'cause they said 'butts.'

At the entrance of a museum in Hangzhou (the exit here is also the entrance, as evidenced by the folks leaving the museum the same way they came in; yes, back through a metal detector):

"Please accept inspection consciously;" (I'm impressed that this was at least spelled correctly.)

Perhaps my favorite of the bunch, this photo was taken at the airport in Xian (these seats were nowhere near a gate, by the way):

"Only for the old and weak;" let's be blunt.

Chinglish Part I

We've all seen some funny (horrific, some may say) uses of the English language, but not much compares to what you find in China. I have a feeling this is the first post of many to come on the subject. 

We saw the image below on Nanjing Road (think: LA's Third Street Promenade on steroids, with brighter lights and the volume turned way up). It was outside a store where a number of couples seemed to be looking at (their?) wedding photos. 

"Loved is sweet. Love only you, only I am drunk. You belong to me, the door is always open for you."
Whaaaaaat? And yes, Mike's wedding tux looks exactly like the one pictured.

Off of Nanjing Road, by some food spots:

Anyone up for some "freshiy spueeied fruit" juice?

At an electronics mall: 

Not to be mistaken with the IiiPad

And a favorite, found in a menu:

Who wants some "bad hair fragrant beans"?
I'm not sure what's better or what's worse -- beans that have bad hair or beans that smell good

More to come, I'm sure of it.