Fatty Tuesday: The Food Challenge

I bet you didn't think there were food challenges in Shanghai, à la Adam Richman in Man v. Food. I certainly didn't. Before Mike and I moved to China, Man v. Food was one of the few shows we'd enjoy watching together (as enjoyable as watching a man stuff his pie hole to the point of illness can be; what can I say? I wasn't into Monday Night Football, he wasn't into Real Housewives of Orange County.). Anyway, I digress.

Ever since we tried our local burger joint (yes, we have a local burger joint in the name of Burger Bistro), Mike has threatened to attempt its challenge: a three-stack burger with extra trimmings -- grilled onions, bacon, a fried egg, lettuce, tomato, and pickles -- a side of fries and a classic milkshake. To be cleared in 15 minutes. Are you shaking your head yet? 'Cause I was. The whole time.

The monstrosity arrived, an edible skyscraper made of beef patties and buns, brightened by yellow yolk and a red tomato who, with the green lettuce leaf, hold on to the empty promise of health. There was no way. But my husband gave it his best effort, going about the ridiculous thing methodically, eating one patty-bun at a time and dunking fries into his milkshake. Until he hit the wall. It came on hard and sudden, and he was done. A failed attempt, but certainly not for lack of trying. Bravo, my love. Now I hope you'll never want to do such a silly thing again.

The consolation prize: a polaroid